I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
