I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
