so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i think my cat just said my name.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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