therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
