With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
