Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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