She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
