Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
now i know why i became what i already was.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
