some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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