Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
