He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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