Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize