Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
