wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
