why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
