I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the day after is always just damage control
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
