Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
