what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
