Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
