But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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