I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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