so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
