I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
