i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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