as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
