I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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