Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
