I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
smell my finger.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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