Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
