Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
