WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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