you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
