people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
