I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
