Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't notice because vodka
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
