The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
