i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
