he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
