the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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