How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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