Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
