Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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