spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
