I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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