I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
