the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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