May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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