yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
