when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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