My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
