I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
