1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
