Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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